This is a story I sumbitted to a short story contest… it needed to be 600 word max, and contain a man, a woman and a job offer… so here it is for your critiquing…
Exodus Continuous…
With the alarm clock ringing Barry bounced out of bed. Today was the interview at Cuttim Cloze Engineering Company. He dreamed of being an engineer since he was a boy. This would be a turning point after years of struggling in minimum, to low wage jobs throughout Western New York. The years spent at the university would not be in vain and he would put his mechanical engineering degree to use. Barry’s wanted to set a date to marry his long-time fiancée Heather and settle near their family and friends. They hoped to start a family of their own. With the advancement potential this job has to offer, Barry is confident this is the answer to all of their prayers.
Heather was up early with eager anticipation. Her apartment was small, but it was only temporary. Barry had his third interview this morning. They would soon be married and starting a family of their own. Heather dreamed of being a stay-at-home-mom and raising their children while Barry continued success in the field he was so passionate about.
Today was her day off and she would wait for the news. They would go for a celebratory lunch and talk about the future. Her current job afforded her weekdays off occasionally. The pay wasn’t bad, but certainly not that of a forensic scientist. She studied hard at state college, finally graduating summa cum laude. Jobs in Western New York were not bountiful in her field of study.
Barry arrived early for the interview. Waiting in the lobby excited and nervous at the same time, he dreamed of the future. He would be grilling hot dogs while Heather chased their children with a squirt gun through the yard of their home.
Finally, the office assistant guided him down a hallway past several offices. Barry shook hands with his interviewer.
The phone rang in Heather’s apartment and it was her mother’s voice on the other end. She did not want to tie up the line not knowing if Barry would call her apartment or her cell phone. She would call her mother back later. Heather hung up and sat down in front of her laptop. She browsed her email and one in particular caught her eye. She sent a resume to the Dallas County Forensic Sciences office a while back. A short email detailing an offer, a contact name and telephone number was all she needed. Heather picked up the phone.
Barry called Heather at home and her line was busy, so he hung up and dialed her cell phone. No answer.
Heather hung up and called Barry’s cell phone. He answered, and they agreed to meet at a restaurant in Cheektowaga. Heather did not have the heart to tell Barry her news over the phone.Once seated at the restaurant, Barry began to talk about the future and pointed out that Marilla was located between her parents in Orchard Park and his in Williamsville. Heather stopped him in mid sentence and told Barry her news. She was offered a position in the Forensic Sciences Office. They would have to move to Dallas within one month.
Heather and Barry settled in for a long afternoon of weighing the pros and cons of their offers. The local job market, economy and fate had handed them an opportunity they had to take. They desperately wanted to stay in the Western New York area and raise their family, but decided to make the move like so many before them. On holidays, Barry, Heather and kids would visit family. Can anyone or anything stop the maddening exodus continuous?
Let me know what you think… I know this isn’t great writing, but it contained all the essential elements for the contest and was 600 words… if you feel like commenting….
PEACE!
Chuck
